my Life in US

Its been awhile I reached here. I mean 3 weeks ago, life isn't really good here but you know what, I got my new friends who support me.

I don't know why but I really feel lots better after I went to church today. They sing and they hug. They talk and they laugh. They seems to be so relax and being themselves when everyone is at the church. No one force to do anything that they don't like. You can choose to sit or to stand, you can choose to sing or be quiet. You can choose to dance or shout it loud. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

I thought I'll be back earlier tonight but no, I enjoy every seconds inside the church. I feel the love and the joys. I feel the worthies and satisfied.  No one tell me to stay nor leave. But I feel like I'm belong to there. Because I know when no one is with me, He is with me. When no one is talking to me, He is by my side.

Yes, we official together few months

           I heard about your news few days before- About you have a new girlfriend.  I feel so good at this point because I feel like I've been release. 

  I act like I didn't know and came to greet you. 

You might feel it's stupid but I realize - to face you I do not need to be myself, I mean I do not need to be a truly myself. 

Because He teaches me who is real, who is not. 

I always thought that I never be dump in front of you, but actually I am a dummy. 

It's really feel sad to know that SO MANY THINGS after we broke up. 

I do know that You're nothing for me after we broke up,

 I mean in a human sense - You're not worthy for me to even think about the memories. 

I walked away with a very easy way, because he is there for me to cheep me up, he is there to accompany me when I'm alone.

HE WIPE AWAY MY TEARS. 

and where are you?

You know why until today I will still wrote about you? Because I felt cheated, I felt uncomfortable.

I felt  I lose in this relationship.

I felt wasting my time and I hate this.

He told me  to move on, I did and I actually are. 

But still, if have a chance, I really feel like slapping you hardly.

because I don't like people to disrespect me. 

and you're one of them-indirectly.

because until today You still want to ACT LIKE YOU'VE GROW UP.

You still NEVER WANT TO ADMIT YOUR FAULT.

You found a girlfriend from a BTALK who is 18. yet you still want to tell me she has a very very mature thinking.

I really wonder...   why am I to be in a relationship with you previously?

you should know that E-cigarette will brought you to hell one day, I mean a faster way yet you found another partner to go to hell together. She is only 18, she become your vape partner. 

You drugs, you vape somemore.  I'vev told you so many times, to wake you up from your so called "dream", yet you never learn from it. 

Now I know why I found him, because he never need me to be his lecturer, because he never drugs, he never vape. 

Comparison?   Nope - because you can't even compare with him. Sorry Bro. 

I think I choose it wisely. I do not need to say anything about him because he is never be perfect for me but after attach, we are perfect. 

-FINISH-

another 1 more week

I'm getting nervous or unwilling to leave due to I couldn't leave this home.

My family and my dogs. I'm just never felt this kind of feeling before. It's  couldn't be describe, I really feel in love to this family even since I born to be.

They are just like my everything, I can have nothing but not without them.



Everytime when i think about my family and my doggies and someone, I feel like crying.


maybe for the others, it's nothing. But for me, its really a big challenge!

it's just lucky

对，我是时候写华语篇了。

在我消失的一年里，我又渡过了一段不及格的爱。对，又不成功了。没办法，就是遇见不对的人。谁对谁错我不多说，因为本来就不能去判断，结局往往才是最重要的不是吗？


偶尔真的很感恩身旁的人，就是因为当下有他们的出现才不会渡过的死去活来的。任何人的付出我都很感激。谢谢你们。爱死你们了！


离开了一个人才真真的体会到他的不一样， 这是真的， 尤其是你并没有和他做朋友的时间，你们的开始就是他在“追求” 你的阶段，根本没有机会去真真的了解到到底他是怎么一个人，追求你时当然就不是本来的他，然而女人嘛，还是没有想好这一点。就算知道了，还是“盲木” 的不是吗？ 哈哈哈哈！习惯就好。


我可以说是经过上述的情形，可是我没有责怪任何人的意识，只是发表一下我的不成功例子。我们女孩其实只是想要遇见一个可以在背后支撑自己的男人。然而，一点都不容易，每个男孩都很不一样，也不是每个都适合。

可是我就没有放弃，

今天是520 日子，

有个他让我有了惊喜，真的惊喜万分。

我人生的第一束蓝玫瑰，

真的爱死了，

我也是女生就是爱这种重看不重用的东西。

我只能说，感恩在我失魂落魄的时候你把我给挺住。

你的浪漫和萝瞒俤克让我心灵上得到了安慰与被爱。

因为我知道不是每个男人都愿意为我而付出。

really beautiful. 

Can't describe by words. 

I love it so so so so much!

So fast, I'm 22.

 Time Flies, its 2014 now and it's so unexpected that I'm back. I think most of my friends never update their blog anymore and most of them forget the existing of blog. 

You know what, I've never been regret to created this blog, because every time I look back my previous post, I feel like "OMG, how could it be? Is that me? Am I the owner of this sookyee1629.blogspot,com?  It's so amazing!

I look back all the stories that I've been through, I feel so different now, it's like I'm getting old :)

 No, Is mature, no doubt that people is changing and same goes to thinking but I hope that I'm always the same, so that I can always be YOUNG . hahaha! X)

I'm having exam now and Soon I'm going to US... real soon. 

It's a big challenge for my life. 

I think the LAST TIME me will never ever think that TODAY I'll be going to US. 

Even me myself has been shocked for few times but I just cut off my backup and force my self to walk forward. I'm doing this is for facing the real word, the reality, the truth. Because I know everyone is running and I cannot stop doing anything that will make me grow up. 

I need to fly and run at the same time, to stand at the same starting point like the others too. 

Yes, I'm comparing myself with those better one due to I want to be a better one :)

 So, its time to study. 

It's just a year that I never came back yet I've been go thru a failure relationship again.

Yes, again.  My love life just ever go any stronger isn't it?

 I think I'm changing, my family life, my friendship. Everything is changing, except for my love life. 

I just haven get a real one to be part of my life. 

Actually I'm getting tired. I'm not desperating but I just hope to have someone who can always stay with me and not leaving anymore.

 It's getting hard when I'm getting older? Ha! Anyway, will update again!

See yea! 

So I putted my defense up.

Stress for weeks, This life is just the same like others.

Everyone wants to be unique but most of us can't. Even those successful one went on the same path( before or currently)


How to define as success?

Most of us's theory - Rich, Richest. Money. A lot lot lots of Money.

Those who really make a lot of sacrificed to the world, we DON'T really care about it.

For example, your dream is - went to Africa and be a volunteer to help them up. But the main point- What's the salary, is this going to your whole life? Are you going to stay there forever? How about your family, your work life ? Are you going to abandon them down and just walk away ?   There is only 1 person can do that in 100 people. It's a good and meaningful job. But when you abandon all these, You just being irresponsibility in other way.


Because in our life, we are not alone, we are not the only person need to be responsibility to our own life. We are participate in each others life. Our family, Our pets, Our lover, Our friends.


Sometimes, when I look around the people, some friends went insane to get money, some friends don't know whats the path they going to get. Some, lost in the path. But, I still meet some normal one, get thing when they should and work hard on it.


I'm not being lazy, I got Firm to write on In civil But I don't want my whole life to be a worker of life. I don't want to over stress and over relax.


I clear where my path is, and When I should get it. I know what is my future and my aim.

But sometimes, I just can't denied that I being confuse of (meaning of life)

  

Money can get beauty

But Money can't get color of life.

No or Yay?

My effort.

Everyone do their best in their relationship, friendship and Families.

Although some might not, But I've tired my best, even there have some problems sometimes, But I always thought people will be appreciate what I did.


I can be jokes in front of you, I can be maid or even an angel for you.

But Don't take me for granted.  I respect anyone who respect me. I love anyone who love me.

But I know in some kind of relationship, The longer you stay, the faded it will be.
I told many guys " never stop chasing a girl" even she had belongs to you.
No doubt, in this world, there a lots of girls being sacrificed for guys.... (same goes to guys)


I will sacrificed for you as well, but I realized The more I sacrificed for you, the more you take me for granted. Don't ever try to do that.  


Just to remind you, once I turn away, I will never come back.
Even though I will regret, Even I think about you sometimes, But I know what I want. I choose to live better or happier. People always says that It's hard to continue chasing but It's harder to give up.




Suffer or Giving up?
I choose giving up. Time will cure me and I will be sun shine soon or later.
This is life, It keeps on tik tok tik tok. Time flies. Those people I think I cant live without has gone and I'm still stand strong over here. It proves that Without anyone, I'm still alive.




* I told you never left me alone like that. You promised me You will never do it again. But you break the promise. My tears almost drop down but You KNOW WAD? I smile and facing it. See you!