3 年后，还是持续一样吗？

 大家好，不知不觉过了3年。MCO 已经是6年前的事情了。时间从来都是公平的。没有人有更多或更少。今年可能会有大的事情因为有安排要进入人生下一个阶段了。

可是我真的不是很想现在这样的方式继续活下去。不懂为什么我觉得一成不变的生活，没有目的的生活着不是我想要的。我想有突破。

偶尔我不知道我是不是不知足还是太善忘，因为我一直觉得我去年没有做过什么，可是明明就有啊。我去跳飞机，带着妈妈去旅行，其实这都是我不敢想像的。我不是一个有计划的人，也不是一个爱旅行的人，可是带着另一个我去完成了2个礼拜的旅行。其实真的很舒服也很有成就感。因为我知道我妈妈很想去。而那段时间是我和妈妈最开心的时光。

其实有时间可以和父母相处一定要珍惜，因为其实大家所剩的时间都是在倒数的，你永远不会知道谁先离开，无论是谁。。 只是可惜爸爸不爱旅行-我应该像到他吧。。。。 哈哈

也很庆幸有表哥和表嫂的陪伴 - James 和 Celest 。。 一对也是经历了很多的夫妻。他们的故事让我们学会了很多，每个人都有高低只是你知不知道而已。。。

这个旅程让我知道我是幸运的，因为有大家的疼爱。真心谢谢感恩。

没有谁一定要对谁好，所以谢谢他们对我的好。

在2025 年，我也完成了我的跳飞机计划，其实没有计划哈哈哈哈。就是去到觉得一定要TRY。

可是就很刚好有位子，我没有预先Booking也没有看天气。

就很顺其自然的搭上一个机会就跳了。

我需要写起来因为我的善忘会让我觉得2025　我什么都没有做到

在10月份，我和我公司最要好的搭档－　Camy　一起去上课，那看起来很容易的5天课却是我们10年来最早起最迟睡的５天。　很开心遇到一班好的伙伴。还有我们两个新的名称

ＣＨＥＲＡＳ　双妹 ｍａｋ

其实很幸运遇见她

因为我不喜欢一个人奔跑，刚好大家都是志同道合的姐妹

三观也匹配

就这样互相伤害了几十年

哈哈哈！

然后我们两位都拿到了文凭

接下来就是去那HRDC　的时候了。

今年的目标！

其实我对她最大的感谢是　－　这一间公司其实和她没有任何的关系

可是她比任何人都拼

她比任何人都会为公司去计划和负责

最重要－她不计较

所以我对她也不计较

感恩遇到一位一起打拼的搭档

然后就是我去年最伤心的时候

11月22号　－　Ａｈ　Ｗｏｎｇ　　离开的日子

到今天到这一刻我还是一说就会哭

他在我的面前离世，当它最后一口气, 吐了一口气然后卸下了一切就不动了。

突然觉得。。嗯一生就这样。。

这样来就这样走

什么也带不走

已经两个月了。我还是会哭。。

因为心里的一块肉不见了，我抓不到也摸不透

突然就消失了

到今天我还是偶尔会心碎，因为在它去世那一天早上，我听他的呼吸声，我有告诉我男朋友它不对路，可是我还是出门了，在我回到家的不到10分钟时间，它就慢慢的离开了。

我很记得当它伸懒腰的那一瞬间，我才知道它要离开了。

原来生死真的就是那么一瞬间，我不知道它痛苦了多久。

对不起。。。阿Wong。。。

“你是我的SoulDog，一直以来我很疼你

可是因为皮肤的关系和搬出去了以后，我的确没有像以前那样和你们贴在一起。

可是你们是陪我度过我青春的伙伴

回到家，我永远先和你们打招呼

因为你总是会摇着尾巴来找我和欢迎我

我的爱全给了你　－　我真的很想你。

我知道每一次我想你时，你一定会跑出来看我一下

你要好好的，乖乖的　等我。。我很期待和你相见

照顾你的那一个月里，我没有遗憾，更多的时害怕，其实每一天回到家我都很担心，在停车场。。。总是提心吊胆。。　因为我很怕你离开。。

有的痛，是我不想就没有事情。。可是我一想就控制不到了。

谢谢你让我的生命更美满

让我更加学会珍惜

让我知道快乐是什么，失去是什么。

每一位出现在身边的生命都教会我们些什么。

而你教会我爱，父母看到我照顾你的方式，还问我以后会不会这样照顾他们。

最后的最后　－　谢谢你出现在我的生命里。爱你”

我生病了

 不知不觉已经来到年尾了。我想记录一下我九月发生的事情 

一直以来我都很庆幸我没有进医院的记录。可是不懂你们信不信，我在今年有种感觉，好像这个记录要破了。当然只是随便想一想。可是真的在九月来了。我的脑出血导致头疼和进医院。

一开始只是头疼，可是开始呕吐和持续的头痛。症状：躺着不疼，可是不能站和坐着。

那种疼我不会形容，就像有些东西形容不了，只有当时人知道一样。

进了医院，真的很辛苦，当你不懂要躺还是站的时候，一直上厕所因为那段路是最舒服的时候，可是其实完全没有要上厕所的意识。

当时的我一直告诉自己，会过的，会过的。过不了就让天好好的快快的收我，我不要痛苦。

我认真的这样心里默念，突然发现自己没有什么好留恋的。

毕竟人生就是自己一个人来自己一个人走。爱过人，有人爱就已经无遗憾了。

在医院呆了四天，当中有Panic attack，有昏睡。可是很感恩父母在当中的日夜陪伴和牵挂。

更重要我要谢谢来看望我的朋友。因为很多东西就是那一瞬间，如果我真的不在了，至少啊我看到你们。PY， TS，我哥哥，爸爸妈妈，Ah Be, Ms. Sim. 这些人我是要记录起来的。我答应以后你们有什么帮忙，我都会义不容辞。

然后就出院了，其实当中完全没有治疗，就是我的脑袋自己修复，药物只有止痛药。

所以我就这样休息了接近两个月。我本来还很坚强的。可是偶尔还是情绪崩溃了。

我不想在父母面前哭可是那次在医院的Panic attack 还是让我快死了。

男朋友的无微不至让我确定了是他。这一次的事情让我认定了他。

因为我的情绪不稳定，因为我的好强，他会一次一次的瓦解当中的不好。然后还是很安稳的站在我身旁。

两个月快过去了，我相信一切会更好。天让我生病是让我知道谁对我好，也把我缓一缓，其实我真的不需要那么着急的。今天的我没有耳鸣，没有头疼。而且这个星期也上了三个星期的工作。其实真的有在进步。

我相信当中我学习到的，是我人生的一大智慧。

祝大家一切安好。

妥协

 我越来越懒惰妥协了

嗯，现在的我只要觉得不适合或是不开心，我就会觉得没必要。

因为为什么要让自己不开心？可是有哪一段感情是不会不开心的啊？

我不懂，可是我越来越讨厌不开心的感情。因为我为啥付出还要不开心？如果付出一样东西是会不开心的，那还要那一样东西来干嘛？

刚刚的他让我觉得我自己无理取闹。嗯，我也觉得。

可是我不想理性。因为我觉得我也没有说错。可是他给我的态度让我的线断了。

既然他没有想和我好好沟通，而是打算让我自己安静，那么我会自己安静。而我也不需要他了。

或是还有很多其它的原因吧。或是我其实一直以来都觉得和他不适合，更多的是，我们的背景吧。

我其实觉得我自己还是介意的，我和他母亲的关系，工作带来的影响可能真的很深。我就算看到别人称她为他的女朋友，我的心完全是接受不到的。更多的是，我说服不到自己为什么要去接受？

或是，我们真的不适合吧。我们的观念，性格好像很对。

可是，我却不想和他家里人扯上关系。

而这个问题也只有我妥协才有可能发生。我一直问他几时要娶我，是因为我很害怕有一天我决定不嫁给这个男人了。那我们继续下去的意识在哪里？因为爱？别傻了，都多少岁了。

对，我自私。很多时候我就是这样理性和感性之间琢磨。其实我觉得他也很累吧。

嗯，我们很适合，可是家里不适合。昨天的我可以很确定这件事。

而结婚从来都不是两个人的事。所以，我知道怎么走了。可是接下来可能就更困难了。

可是困难现在好过浪费大家的时间。

毕竟一年多了，有些时候必须得承认有的东西勉强不来。而我也决定不再浪费时间去协调了。

可能一切都太草率。

祝各位幸福快乐。

觉得自己开始懒了

 好好好

生活还是一样

只是我忘了我搬出去了。我的意识是我在4月份的时候搬出去了。哈哈哈~

我之前很有冲劲的拿了ACCA 然后现在的我既然懒惰了

他妈的，我一直告诉自己够了，不要再懒了

可是我有很积极的在减肥啦

可是还是一样很爱吃。

告诉自己不能再这样下去了

至少要有一样是可以实现！！！

所以既然懒惰读书

那么久勤劳减肥！！

不可以再吃了！！

希望下一轮我回来时，我会是50 吧。。

我现在54. 加油！

一样的轮回

 OLA~ 我回来了，好久好久没回来写东西了。

对，因为我又睡不着了。

自从和新的他在一起，已经没有这个问题了。

可是这两天因为一些争吵，我又睡不着了。

所以事情还是一样没有解决。

我以为解决了呵呵，看来，问题还是在自己身上。

不堪寂寞，没人陪就睡不着啊。

曾经算命的就说我的命中有“空虚”啊。哈哈

我和他其实我到现在还是不确定。

因为可能他说过的话，

可能大家的家庭背景

可能和他母亲的关系比较紧张，

可能他留下的印象？

不如说自己的不确定是因为已经不知道谁才是自己要的人。

偶尔会有冲动想和他结婚，偶尔又没有。

（自己基本选偶条件是至少要有想嫁的感觉）

其实对于他的漂浮和对钱没什么概念的性格的确和我有很大的差别。

可是当初就是他让我不再那么执着，要学会享受无论发生什么事。

可是，这不会是我想嫁的性格吧？怎样去承担起一个家？

不过做男人也是很可怜的。

为什么家就一定是男的去承担啊？

对不起，至少我不想承担。如果是这样，我宁愿自由自在。

不要结婚。

其实我很想放开自己，不要再想结婚的事情。

毕竟我也还没遇到我真的很想嫁的人。

对他，我希望不是冲动。

可是经过自己好好的思考。我还是好好的维持现在这样的生活吧。

感情就也维持现状就好了。

可能到时是我不要嫁呢哈哈。

因为毕竟之前发生的事情我已经也学会了。

去告诉人家说我想嫁了，然后呢？

再加上他很可能也不是我想嫁的人。

刚刚我看一看Instagram看到他之前的女朋友几乎每张照片他都有Like。

是，我知道事情是发生在我们还没在一起的时候，

可是其实在很多这种小细节里，也可以看得到我和他其实好像就不太对。

我其实不喜欢他这种的没有意识随随便便的 ”like"

我会自我怀疑到底他的喜好的度在哪里？

他的太随便应该也会让我们之间草草的在一起，草草的分开吧。

很大可能也是一样的轮回。

我不懂，可是如果不对，我就不勉强了。

毕竟再长的感情我都放得下，有什么我是放不下得。

毕竟长大了，

不蹉跎人家的时间，不耽误任何人，

不消耗任何人，就是我们作为人最大的善良。

Drama

Can you believe it?

He told me the truth after I asked on 3rd of July 2020 which is my birthday month.

I thought it is a present but yeah, it is.

His girlfriend pregnant on end of February.

and our stories start on January.

If you wondering what is the story, that is the secret between me and him

But trust me, I'm not a jerk to screw up people on relationship and maybe that is the reason we never get together because I know if during that time I hold on tight, he will be mine today

But trust me, I'm not asking for such relationship

as You can see the outcome, his girlfriend pregnant after he told me he is going to SETTLE everything and get back to me.

So, god shows me what real man is.

I told him to be glad because we stop immediately after we found something is not right or else, today he is the one who going to suffer.

I mean real suffer.

Of course I can ruin him anytime If I want to.

But I decided not to. Because it is pointless, as I believe things happen for a reason.

I do not know why do I fall for him, at first Yes because I think he is a responsible guy but at last when the outcomes is something like drama - I really felt like get cheated.

He had affair with me when he is with her. Actually I'm the real victim and it really makes me suffer.

I do not know how to express myself in this situation because actually deep down inside me hurt as FUCK.

I mean I do not know why am I having such "incident" happened in my life and why him?

But I never regret. Just maybe regret the person to be him as I cannot stop connection only if I quit my current career

and Im not sure as I'm always think of the issue he did to me.

He can told me when he decided to be with his girlfriend on February but instead he drag until July to said.

By the way today is 12th of July 2020.

Alex, thanks for being in my life because actually you teach me a lot of things. because of you I actually make a step further in my studies.

and I learn to be more independent, I booked GSC ticket for you, I waited for almost 2 hours in a mall.

Remember what you like to eat. We went to zouk together, swimming is the best fun we ever had.

and also the marathon when both of us are running towards the destination.

 The sparks we went through is irreplaceable 

But what happened happened.

No more stories can be found in us.

So let's continue our own story.

Congratulation on your new beginning.

Today is the last day I think of you and stop letting myself to be a bastard.

Emotion kill me hard inside.

Bye.

其实我已经无所谓

接下来我都会很忙

最近觉得自己越来越有目标了

可是感情啊还是很闷

就没有进展啦

没有特定对象

如果你想问我之前那一位

好像我说的，不是我的东西我不爱抢

而且我觉得啊，缘分比较重要啊

没有缘分也没有办法啊

科科，只希望大家都好

不要故意去打扰。

女孩啊一开始不可以太喜欢一个人

因为真的会很容易失去自己

而且我们女孩很突然就爱过了头

到最后无法自拔

我知道我自己就是这副死人样

所以还是让男孩真的真的喜欢我再说吧

只喜欢可以好好的被爱和爱人

我累了，不想每次都是我主动了

而且啊，我真的不喜欢不清不楚的关系

因为我会因为自己去伤害到人家而原谅不了自己

曾经被背叛过的人，为什么要去背叛人家 ？

公事很忙可是还是渴望被爱

我从来不会欺骗自己的

有人介绍吗？

笑死了

oh, by the way~ today I bought new laptop! Huawei Mate  hehehe

疑惑

最近我好像喜欢上一个男的

可是不确定是不是。

感觉好像是空虚而让我容易喜欢上人

重点是，他没有对我有任何的感觉

为啥那么说？因为他有女朋友哈哈哈哈哈

我最怕最怕的复杂关系

所以我早就把自己退到圈圈外，看着他们。

不打扰，不多说

不用担心，也不暗恋。

因为到我这个年纪已经不能再暗恋。

所以告知自己，不要去想，不要去管

我控制不了的东西我不会去控制也不想去控制

知道自己做对的东西就好了。

曾经的你亲吻着我的额头说：我会给你个交代时，我多么的想奋不顾身 。

可是我知道到最后，我可能会输得很彻底。

现在好好的做朋友也挺好的

我到底怎么了。

Things happened in year 2019

Just found out that I got no post at all during year 2019.

Nah, Its alright. I believe I will never forget what I went thru the year.

That's the best and worst year in my life maybe? But the incident teach me a lot by the way.

Standing by the edge and choose to give it a jump.

_______________________________________________________________________-

Today is the last day of "break".

I'm giving up on something not belong to me.

Walk away from complicated issue.

Marisa Peer told me. I'm the best of myself. 

Whatever words you told yourselves, will bring a big affect on mind. 

Always link your target with pleasure and pain. & you'll willing to attached more if the item give you a big pleasure to complete it ; you will walk away if the item give you enough of pain.

Lets focus on what I suppose to focus bah~

空虚感

Before start my post.

Lets see what I did today. Today I went to Office and settle some Working stuff.

I relax myself and start my first session of meditation.

Surprisingly, it is really relaxing and I did it for 20 mins.

During the meditation, it is only music and nothing much. But I asked myself a lot of question.

I face my fear which is emptiness.

Okay, let start my Title today.

I miss the feeling of being loved. 

I miss when I need someone, someone will always be there. 

I miss there is always someone to share the food.

No, I don't miss my ex. But I miss the feeling of belongs to someone.

I miss myself attached to someone.

But now I am not; I choose not to;  It is my decision.

I do not play around with my decision. A lot of people telling me, you guys going to get back together. 

I am not sure in the future, but at the moment, No. 

其实我庆幸我离开，因为过后我觉得我是一个毒瘤。

我曾经很任性；很情绪化；很dominant; 怕人群；永远都希望事情是像我所希望的一样

没有耐性；总是没安全感；颓废

以上的东西是我在去年崩溃时所呈现出来的。

你可以想像和这样的女生在一起吗？ 我角色对换- 我不能

可能因为我自己都接受不到自己这个样子，所以终于告诉自己

林小姐，你得舍弃一些东西了。

他，真的很好；就是太好，我没止境的“欺负”他。

没止境的堕落

没止境的任性

没止境的退步

一切的一切都不是他的问题，是我太依赖他。

没有他，我几乎不出门

没有他，我不会自己想办法解决事情

没有他，我啥都不安排

没有他，我不出远门

甚至曾经有过一个观念- 没有他，我不嫁

 我不知道如何诉说-可是其实我这样的选择一点也不舒服

每个人看到我总是认为既然是你自己的选择，你应该就还好吧。

被飞的比较可怜

其实我以前也是有这种想法，可是直到今天我自己经历了才知道

到底有多痛；多不想；多无奈

的去做这个决定

我们的感情没有被第三者侵入

真的有些感情停止了，我不懂如何继续；也不懂如何解释

我很努力的变好。

我相信我们会遇到更好的自己的

告知单身

今天看到这个文字，突然有感而来：-

“當你思考著該不該離開一份不合理的工作、不合適的感情時，沒人能跟你保證下一份工作、下一個情人一定比較好，可是如果不離開，你也沒有機會看到新的可能。要讓花園擁有茂盛的花草，你必須先騰出空間，種子才進得來；如果不先把錯的人請出去，對的人怎麼來得了？很多時候，當我們有勇氣面對心中的恐懼，為自己出征，做自己生命的英雄，你會發現那些好的發展、快樂的生活，將不再是童話，而是真的可以實現的情節。”


我看回上一个post，突然觉得自己的预感太强了吧 . 我真的单身了。。。

在31/12/2019，正式宣告爱情死亡。而到今天才知道原来我们的问题在2018已经存在。

而确定的是，去年下半年已经是归零期。

当我开始和人说，没有男朋友的那一刻我知道已经完了。

而他却想拖泥带水，或是想挽回吧。

其实我知道男人是需要时间去工作或应酬，可是到最后我才知道原来我要的是看到未来。

“我常常遇到一些人，嚷嚷著要辭職或離婚，但好多年過去了，他依然待在原地不動。可也有另一群人，你很少聽他抱怨，但突然有一天，你發現他換工作了，或是結束一段為期不短的感情。而在聊天的過程中，我發現他們很習慣為自己「做決定」，當遇到困境時，他們不太花力氣徵詢別人的同意或保證，而是想清楚自己要的是什麼，然後行動。於是我漸漸發現，一個人成熟與否的指標，就在於他有多麼習慣為自己做決定。”

今天你可以没有时间陪我，可是我却希望你对我说的话是上心的。

偶尔送送我花，耐心的聆听我说出的问题。我想要一张Credit Card, 可以sub 给我吗？其实，这是一件很小的事情，可是我是一个很细腻的女孩，当当这样我就可以从你给我的行为和答案知道很多。

我在感情的付出，我从来对得起天地良心。我告知要看医生，解决鼻含声的事情，看似小事，可是我是认真要和你走在一起，才告诉你希望你认真看待。

我从来有什么都说，心情不好会说，脾气臭会道歉。

我知道我也有让人顶不顺的性格。可是我希望的是我们可以一起努力的用同样的速度去建立未来。

“人是變動的，不同的階段有不同的渴望，重要的不是對方是誰？ 而是你需要什麼。幸福，就是該割捨的不強求，該維繫的努力修復。當你能掌握取與捨的平衡時，就會明白緣分並不是只有一種模樣。有時，離別是為了讓關係還能活在回憶裡，在將來的某一天，有機會再度重逢。無論是離開，還是留下，你都清楚自己為的是什麼。”

我很清楚自己做的决定。而我没有后悔，可能一年后，或更多年以后我回来看到这一篇文章，我后悔了？

可是兄弟告诉我，如果会后悔就别做，如果做了就别后悔。

我不后悔，也谢谢你爱过我。你的爱真的很好很甜 。你一定会是一个很棒的老公 很棒的男友。

对不起，月老把我们的红线尖断了。我决定好好的自己走自己的路了。

我给你我最好的祝福。愿你一定要幸福！而我也一定会幸福的。

再见了，亲爱的谢廷森。

请你要好好的。

我也会好好的。

I'm worried

I always never left here, no matter how long is the gap but I will come back when I really needed. 

I think no one read my blog after so many decades. 

Friends are getting lesser, family issue never ended.

Work are getting stress.

Relationship also facing some hard time. 

I know all the facts above is about life, I know it's fucking normal. I do not know how to deliberate into details but I know everyone are facing the same issue during their life time in 20s.

I'm not perfect and I'm a person that think a lot, I mean fucking a lot. My brain can't stop functioning until i fall asleep and It take hours to fall asleep.

No matter what, I'm fucking glad that I still have a bunch of close friends and colleagues who supporting me.

You know what, everything that I wrote it here never go thru my brain, that why the sentences might not link to each other. The stories might ended suddenly and pop out again.

I felt cheated by his family, the feeling never faded from my heart, no matter how long the case has been happened. But never, I just can't letting go without any anger.

I do not want to lie to myself, I never ever forgive and forget. I'm learning all these while but Nope. I just have to fucking admit that I'm not a great person nor god.

So many things, so FUCKING many things I know I have to learn I know I have to let go, I know I can't do anything after its happened. But My hand never let it go, my mind never forget.

So what can I do? and why should I lie to myself? 

--------------------------------

Recently he is getting busy. He went to Johor to have some business discussion and the day after that I have never meet him up...

Reason? He started to kick start his planning. But I do not know why I'm feeling struggling. 

I'm suppose to be fucking happy that he is doing something big that will make our future more stable.

But I'm upset because I know the priority going to drop.

Yesterday he went to entertain until 1 a.m.

Today he went to dinner for entertainment as well...

He always by my side not matter how and when I need him.

But now, no matter how much I need him, I could not even call him.. Because I know he will sad and lost whether he shall do such decision (to kick start his plan) because he always care about me.

He scare of losing of me.

He care about my feeling

and that why I cannot said a single word.

NEVER!

但愿 苦尽甘来

我不知到过后我会不会一年后， 来告知单身。

希望一切安好。

Hi, This is the moment

Oh god! At last I'm done with the hardest paper in ICSA ( rumors said so).  I'm so so happy and I wish to burn all my paper XD. I can't do so until I confirmed that I passed.

So anything happened recently? Let me think...... I'm good to go. Just exam made me crazy but I always know I'm going to do this. Because Owen Yap ( 叶剑锋 ) said : “如果已经决定出发，就不要把生命浪费在犹豫上。如果真的决定要开始一件事，就让自己开始。所有的成就，都源于一个勇敢的开始。” ​​​​

当你觉得无从选择，“勇敢”是最好的选择。

其实一直以来我相信我的坚持，我从来不曾怀疑过我自己要的东西，所以我一直以来都清楚自己要的方向。而我从来没有改变过。

我读书不强，不厉害，可是我还是很努力的从nottingham 毕业了。并不代表我厉害, 只是我死死都要毕业。我读书是有re-seat 从考的。没有高分过。可是我的成绩也不是在最低的那一批， 因为还是要少少面子所以很努力努力的读和背。

我考试考到哭，那种压力真的很崩溃。

I'm so happy that I passed my CFM paper and I decide to continue to take my Company Secretaryship for this coming December and it drop on 8th of December. Need to start pushing again.


I'm not sure whether I did gained my weight or because of my period.

I just want to record that now I'm 57kg. Oh my god! I increased 2 kg.....


I'm going to make sure I will drop to 54 kg by end of this month.


This is my target!

Exam Period

Hi! Almost half a year I did not post anything. I almost forget my password to this blog. God bless.

I'm going to have my CFM paper on coming Tuesday. 6th of June :)

Wish me luck guys.

I know I'm not suppose to waste any time to post in these time right now.

But I would like to Thanks to my babe. Mr. Cheah.

These few days, almost everyday I'm crying because of tension.

I'm not sure whether I can do this or not. But no matter how, I will just try my very very best then.

It's too tired to study and work at the same time. But this is the path that i choose. So, no regret.

This is a fast post because I will be back again after my exam. I want to release my words and show my passion bf how great he is. :)

Stay Tune. It's time back to my book.


Even though I know there's no reader here but I will post and record my special moment once in a while.

Soon our 3rd anniversary will be arrived.


Oh Ya! My Friend, Goldfish Lim is in a relationship now! How surprise :)


Lovely dovey.


Ciao!

又有谁想过回来？

哈咯，好久不见

我回来了。。。 你们呢？

越长大发觉越少人的团聚。

因为多多少少不想去迁就不想去协调。

还记得以前的我们都很爱写blog ， 我很喜欢读别人的感觉和想法。 觉得很不可思议。

很好奇-- 总结来说我很在乎别人的想法啦。

可是不知不觉，反而自己离开了别人的生活。
我很念旧很容易回想当年可是我不想回去从前。

矛盾-- 就是人生啊。

希望每个人都幸福快乐吧。



如果你回来了。。。 给我一点信息吧。

Accident.

I never knew my blog became so famous after the incident happened. But I'm too forgetful to remember it. So I decide to do whatever I want or perhaps talk to anyone I like. (So Please stop asking me to talk to you if I do not want to, please.. leave me alone. I'm not free as your life wouldn't need to worry any shit and came to disturb people's life ) Ops, Sorry If I offend you. Because I don't mean to (at the first point) but you try to act like those ... never mind. So yea, as you now I will not talk to you and you know it is pointless to comment any shit at my blog because I just want my blog to be a private place to write crazy things. Things that I will not say to anyone. Things that I want to shout it out but I couldn't.

So please, give me some space. Don't interact the only place that I have ( when I really needed it). Because everyone has something they wanna to say, shout, complaint, swear in their life. At least, I want to tell you is - I will still respect you when we meet up. You might feel I'm FAKE but Hello, there are thousand type of human being in this world, you think everyone suit everyone? I'm might not your type of friends but at least, I give you the best of me - to respect you INFRONT of you.

Reality is being realistic. Don't tell me shit that you never bullshit someone's bad behind of their back. Everyone deserved to being back- step, because everyone BACK Step people! So whats the fucking matter ?

Do you think everyone like me? Wake up Child. Sometimes, even you realized something, you can just keep quiet and walk away because give some private place to people. Moreover, admit the shit you did. That's all i can say. If you were so lucky to come and stalk my blog again. God bless.. Stop coming back again, because you know you will never have any link with me. Perhaps, just forgive me, click the cross on your right upper top and leave. Just me back my private place, Thanks.

I really work hard on it but...

I never tell people about my background, about my family background.

I never show people whether I'm rich, poor either. I just love to keep quiet and have friends around me.

But recently I felt fed up with those friends who always talking about the money but Not about THE EFFORT, My theory is, if you never step further, you will never know.

Everyone - or maybe some of them thought that Its easy to work with family business.
Okay, Lets see like this - There is 2 situation in family business..

1- The parents love the child too much and let him to be lazy around without doing shit effort for his/her future.

2- Parents throw him/her to the other leader to learn new things and push her as much as they can.

Whatever I don't really want to show my pissed off issue right now.


If you love money go earn it with your effort! Stop complaining about your life when you don't even give it a try.


I work like a cow and take risk like a tiger. Did you know that? I might fall anytime anywhere but I'm not afraid. Don't Tell me Shit like " Wa, You very good LOH".. What you mean by LOH?!

Maybe I see things differently? Okay, No offence.. different people different thinking.

I need to pay this by myself, I'm not born to be a princess but a fighter. I told him, Money can earn again but experience will bring us further. Yes, I don't like gamble because I don't feel save to earn it back but about my future, You can't imagine how I'm gonna do with it. I've plenty of plans, and some of them might fail.


BUT I will just work hard on it.
So... Stop complaining about your life... when you're not working OT everyday, When you have so much benefits yet not satisfied. When its in your expectation yet you does not want to stand on it. When you can sleep until 11am to go for work. When you can leave your work at 3pm.


Yes, That's your choice.. So.. Stop complaining,

when we suffer, who saw that? People just thought .... aiya, now they so good lo. 

tengsim went into big company lo. ..

Who knows that those shit we went thru?

When I get scold by the manager? When we miss each other yet couldn't physical touch for months?

When I need to pick up shit from the sink?

When the boss blame us that we steal her money?

The detail couldn't be told.. reason - because that's much more to come.

If we can't do this... No way further we ccan go.

Love JESUS, Amen!

谢谢你，廷森。。

我们在这是个月里，狠狠得为自己加油，加得大家都累了，

我这个人不假，不爱兜兜转转，我会很坦诚自己的问题，可是你却总是体谅我的累我的苦。

回到家我不像其他小孩，吃个饭拍拍屁股就看电视，我却需要打工了以后还帮妈妈做家务，而你却拖着疲惫的身体和我一起的疲惫。

我们为对方做了自己最真实的自己，我们会在对方面前发脾气，我们会哭泣，我们会互相的去了解对方的想法，也会表达自己的意见，因为我们知道我们都需要对方的意见，而我庆幸得是我们都愿意听对方说话，我们就算再生气都好，我们平静了以后，我们都会说对不起。

对不起，我的脾气，对不起，我爱的你。因为你的爱让我知道我的品德需要进步，需要宁静的去思考自己的一刹那的愤怒。

你是我的一个爱的平平淡淡可是去轰轰烈烈的男人。当我觉得感情少了情感，我会告诉你而你的可爱样子却让我甜蜜死了。

你给我的乐趣，总是多的无法形容。我不是第一次和人牵手可是我希望可以和我白头偕老的人是你。因为如果你不放手，现在的你是我爱的。我不能担保以后。因为诺言太不可靠。然而我真的希望你是那位一直为我们，为自己加油而有上进心的男人。

我懂男人很累，可是我希望你清楚明白。

如果有天你倒了不要害怕-有我，

你经济上有问题不要怕-有我（我会和你再爬回上来）

相信我----我会尽力的去协助你。

我--会努力学会更多，让你自豪我的智慧和魅力。

我不能改变我的容貌--可是我的确保我有足够的能力去让你欣赏你的女人。

我爱你。

我在美国时我的容貌皮肤极度的糟糕-可是谢谢你爱我！

Attitude

The way you treat you pets.


The way you treat the guards.


The way you treat the others during Sales.


The way you treat the Children.


The way you treat the people who smiles at your kids.



Not everyone are bad. At least, We are not.


Sometimes, and I don't know why. There is no one like me. I always repeating think that " did I say any wrong thing today?"    Just I feel I don't really suit anyone.

Every time before comment anything, must hold my words in and go through every nerve of mine to confirm it's alright to keep on. Because I always knew that I easy to pop out wrong comment.


It might be wrong decision, wrong answer, or even wrong suggestion.

In Uni, I've a bunch of friends who are much more mature than me. Their suggestion, answer are so much accurate than me.


In secondary, I've a bunch of friends who have a better background, which I can't even compare with them. The place they went, the food they eat, not everyone can afford it, I do can afford it but maybe few times in a year? and slowly the time we getting tgt are lesser.   Or somehow, everyone have their own friends.



Yes, No one has the ability to know what am I thinking.



alright, I do not know what the - am I thinking. But one thing is always accurate is - Friends will always change, but you can find a (target) who can seriously bright your whole life. No offence, but after that you will realized, friends can't always accompany you, or somehow, they always change. But the one who sit beside you, will always be there ( if they will).


Last time, I always wondering, when someone is in relationship and they just throw friendship away?  It's not a good idea but friends will keep changing, this is reality.  No need have a best friend or maybe have friends or close friends are more than enough?    after reading an article always wake me up from the deepness night.

Stories

When there are too much of choices for you to choose, I do not think it's a good idea.

Just like a product, when there are too much of choices of brand, price, quality, we will started to get headache.


No doubt, but it's better than no choices sometimes.


I've finished my exam, everynight hang out. Almost. Thursday I restart my work engines. It's kinda sheeezzz hahahahha!


Don't know why, I miss a person that loved me, I mean still loving me.


Whether or not, I'm still happy with my decision, Let go the old one, get a new one.


Every guy have to face the reality, Girl love the way of  love, but She needs more than just love. The responsibility for future life, the money you own, the love that you would like to give her.




But I knew so many truth after all these while


-27.11.14-